Nothing says “parenting is hard” like a trucker hat that reads “Mommy’s Little Alcoholic”—custom embroidered, because dignity should always come in Helvetica. This hat is for the mom who has earned her wine glass tattoo, who knows the true meaning of “juice box” (hint: it’s boxed chardonnay), and who’s been to more PTA meetings half-sober than anyone wants to admit.
Now, we’re not saying this hat encourages drinking. We’re just saying it understands it. It’s like therapy, but with better stitching. Throw it on at soccer practice, Target, or during that 8:30 AM Zoom call where you have to pretend you’re “totally fine.” It pairs beautifully with dark sunglasses and a mildly threatening smile. Bonus: it makes your toddler look like an enabler, which is weirdly cathartic.
And yes, it’s custom embroidered—because you deserve luxury regret. Add a monogram, a bottle count, or even your favorite cry-for-help quote. Fashion meets dysfunction in a way that says, “I may be spiraling, but I look fabulous doing it.”
