They say you can’t buy happiness, but apparently, you can buy a hat that tells everyone you’re not the designated driver—you’re just boring by choice. The “If You Don’t Drink” custom embroidered cap is the ultimate fashion statement for people who like to make everyone at the party deeply uncomfortable. Whether you’re sipping water at the bar or attending a BYOB barbecue (Bring Your Own Beverage… which for you means “Boring Old Beverage”), this hat proudly announces your sober supremacy.
The stitching is crisp, the message is blunt, and the vibe says, “I will still remember everything you said last night.” It’s perfect for starting awkward conversations and ending them just as quickly. Wear it with pride, and remember—hydration is the only hangover you’ll ever have.
