$30 for a Damn Haunted House Tucker Hat Custom Embroidered Listen, if you’re gonna spend $30 on anything this $35.95
Endless Meowy Christmas With Glitter Behold the purr-fect holiday greeting card that’s equal parts $9.99
Yes I Support LGTB Custom Printed T-Shirt Wearing the Yes I Support LGTB Custom Printed T-Shirt $25.95
I’m Here to Light Fireworks and Bang Custom Printed T-Shirt There comes a time in every red-blooded, grill-mastering, lawn-chair-owning $25.95
I Drink Pond Water Hat Potent Frog Official Merch Custom Embroidered If you’ve ever wanted to simultaneously channel grandpa-at-the-bait-shop vibes $35.95
My Arson Charges Don’t Define Me Hat Custom Embroidered There are hats that say “Dad,” hats that say $35.95
People Who Get Diarrhea Custom Embroidered Hat Finally, a hat that speaks the unspeakable truth: the $35.95
All I Want Is A Cigarette Custom Embroidered Dad Hat If you’ve ever wanted your headwear to scream, “I $29.95
Don’t Honk! My Hamster Died (13 years ago) Funny Car Decal Sticker Nothing stops a road-rage-fueled honker faster than existential guilt—and $10.50
Stemmed Skeleton Champagne Glasses – Set of 2 – 7oz If you’ve ever dreamed of toasting life’s milestones while $47.99
Have Your Elf A Merry Little Christmas Socks wonders shout, “Have Your ELF a Merry Little Christmas” $15.99
Endless Bagpipes St. Patricks Day Card with Glitter and Sticker Surprise If you’ve ever wanted to send someone a St. $7.99
Undiagnosed But I Think I Got a Lil Tism Hat Custom Embroidered It started as a joke—like all my coping mechanisms—but $35.95