- Shut Up And Take My Money

New Arrivals

Cowboy Cat Stickers

In a world where cowboys wrangled cattle and cats

Air Plant Holder

If you’ve ever looked at a piece of driftwood

Functional Pipboy 3000

So, you’ve finally done it. You’ve transformed your wrist

Penis Lollipops

Let’s start with the obvious: who looked at a

Bullet Buddy

Let’s be honest—every action movie has that one guy

Pee Man Succulent Planter

Let’s get something straight: if your houseplant isn’t being

Playful Velociraptor Pot Buddy

Let’s face it: houseplants have gotten way too serious.

Lil Dude Frog Magnet

Move over inspirational quote magnets—Lil Dude Frog is here,

Fake Cocaine Sticker Prank

There’s nothing quite like watching a grown adult panic

World’s Smallest Airsoft Gun

Behold: the world’s smallest airsoft gun. Smaller than a

Mini Cat Vomit

There I was, sipping my morning coffee and enjoying

Sad Violin

Let’s talk about the saddest instrument in the world:

Fuggler SpongeBob SquarePants – Plush Patrick Star

In a plot twist no one saw coming (not

This Car is Controlled by the Deep State

When I bought my 2008 Honda Civic, I didn’t

I Know Tiger Hat Custom Embroidered

Let me tell you something: this hat knows. It’s

Bad Day to Be a Hot Dog Trucker Cap – Funny 4th of July Custom Embroidered Hat

Some hats just sit there, minding their business. Not

ITS NOT THE 4TH OF JULY UNTIL MY WIENER COMES OUT CUSTOM PRINTED T-SHIRT

Let’s be honest: nothing screams “America” louder than grilled

Has Science Gone Too Far? Sticker

I slapped the “Has Science Gone Too Far?” sticker

Undiagnosed But I Think I Got a Lil Tism Hat Custom Embroidered

It started as a joke—like all my coping mechanisms—but

Riverboy Camo Hat

Some hats make you look stylish. Others keep the

Megadeth Magnetic Jack Rack® Key Holder

Finally—a key holder that screams, “I love organization and

4th of July Wiener Hat Printed

Some people celebrate the 4th of July with quiet

I’m Here to Light Fireworks and Bang Custom Printed T-Shirt

There comes a time in every red-blooded, grill-mastering, lawn-chair-owning

It’s Not the 4th of July Until My Wiener Comes Out Custom Printed T-Shirt

Some people wear fireworks on their shirts. Others go

Marine Big Box Wall Decor Murphy with Decanter

They say art speaks to the soul, but until

Swearing Helps Oven Mitt Bakeware Oven Mitts

Let’s be honest—baking is a beautiful, wholesome experience… right

The Only Lines I Respect Custom Printed T-Shirt

Let’s face it—rules are mostly just fancy suggestions, and

She’s Bwoken (He’s Woke) Sticker

Introducing the sticker that says everything without saying anything:

Monster Catfish Custom Printed T-Shirt

So there I was, minding my business, when I

Swearing Helps Oven Mitt Bakeware Oven Mitts

Ah, cooking. That magical domestic ritual where you attempt

Day Drinking Therapy Hat Custom Embroidered

Let’s face it—adulting is hard. Somewhere between the crippling

I Love My Rottweiler (Wombat) Sticker

People say Rottweilers are loyal, brave, and majestic. Mine?

I Run This Rodeo Hat Custom Embroidered

You know you’re built different when your hat walks

Cigs And Beer Custom Printed T-Shirt

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes, and

On My Way To Jury Guilt (He’s Guilty – I Already Decided)

Nothing says “fair trial” like strutting into jury duty

Edward Disgusted Stank Face Bath Mat

If you’ve ever looked at your bathroom floor and

I’m Not Hat Custom Embroidered

We live in a world where hats have a

HOOKS! XPLR – Portable Metal Ring Toss Game

Let’s be real—most outdoor games are either too complicated,

Happy Birthday Bag of Dicks

There comes a time in every friendship, relationship, or

Gay Pride Patriot Funny Car Decal Sticker

Why choose between sparkly fabulousness and full-throttle patriotism when

Fck Crypto, I invested in Hardware Store Buckets Funny Car Decal Sticker

Let me tell you something about financial wisdom: while

Deftones Dorito One of One Embroidered Hat

Picture this: you’re at a music festival, rocking your

Just Pass Me! I’m Eating Ziplock Bag Spaghetti

If you ever find yourself in the wild urban

Wine Glass Painting Gift Set – Do it Yourself! Creative Glassware Paint Kit for Wine Nights

Let me set the scene: it’s girls’ night. You’ve

Community Service Banned From AA Hat Custom Embroidered

It was just an ordinary Tuesday at the embroidery

ZYN or Sin Print Custom Hat

The ZYN or Sin hat is the perfect accessory

This Toyota F**ks | Retro Toyota Car Decal

Let’s be honest — no one ever expected a

Tea plus Keys Print Custom Hat

You know you’ve reached the pinnacle of fashion when

No Kings, No Masters, No Crust (PBJ)

First of all, let’s get one thing straight—this is

Don’t Honk! My Hamster Died (13 years ago) Funny Car Decal Sticker

Nothing stops a road-rage-fueled honker faster than existential guilt—and

Sublime and Smokin Hat Custom Embroidery

If your fashion sense screams “I do my taxes

Man I Love MLF Fish Print Custom Hat

Let’s talk about the “Man I Love MLF Fish

I Googled My Symptoms 1 of 1 Strapback Hat

So there I was at 3 a.m., shirtless, panicked,

If I’m Not Speeding, Then I’m Not Maximizing Shareholder Value

There are bumper stickers, and then there’s this one:

ShutUpAndTakeMyMoney.com displays the world’s greatest products :)

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