This hat isn’t just an accessory—it’s a full-blown declaration of war against egg rolls, crab rangoon, and that endless soft-serve ice cream machine. When you walk into a buffet rocking this bad boy, it’s less of a fashion statement and more of a legally binding warning label. Forget small talk—people will step aside like you’re Moses parting the General Tso’s chicken. It’s confidence, it’s hunger, it’s embroidered chaos. Wear it proudly, and may the fortune cookie odds be ever in your favor.
