If you’ve ever looked at your bathroom floor and thought, “This needs more brooding vampires judging my hygiene,” then congratulations — your oddly specific wish has been granted. The Edward Disgusted Stank Face Bath Mat is here, and it’s silently screaming “You smell like wet dog” every time you step out of the shower. Twilight fans, your bathroom decor just hit its dramatic peak.
This isn’t just any bath mat. This is Edward Cullen, mid-stank, immortalized in plush absorbency. Every glance down reminds you that no matter how clean you feel, a century-old vampire still thinks you stink. And somehow, that’s empowering. Twilight may have given us eternal love and sparkly angst, but this mat? This gave us closure. Team Edward, wipe your feet — and your emotional damage — right here.