You know you’re in trouble when your brake pads come with a side of fries and a “Have it your way!” slogan. I needed new brakes fast, and there it was: a sign outside BK saying “Special Deal — Pads and Nuggets!” I figured it was a local auto shop doing a weird promotion. Nope. I bought my car’s life-saving brake pads from Burger King. To be fair, they did come wrapped in a nice sesame seed bun.
The first sign that things weren’t going well? The brake pads smelled delicious when they got hot. Every time I stopped at a light, the rich aroma of flame-grilled beef wafted into the car. Drivers were pulling up next to me with their windows down asking for a bite. I had to explain, “No, that’s just my brakes — and no, you can’t supersize them.” Needless to say, my confidence in highway stops dropped faster than a Whopper on a diet.
By day three, I realized the “pads” were just cleverly molded chicken nuggets. On the plus side, they were tender. On the downside, my car now stops about as well as a rollerblade on a Slip ‘N Slide. I guess this is what they mean by “Have it your way” — and my way currently involves a lot of prayer and insurance premium hikes. Moral of the story: if your brake pads come with a side of ranch dressing, run. On foot.
