- Shut Up And Take My Money

New Arrivals

Born To Swim Custom Printed Hat

Finally — a hat that understands your fishy personality.

Croakin’ And Smokin’ Custom Printed T-Shirt

If a frog ever had a midlife crisis, this

Pot Pens

Let’s be honest — these pens aren’t just for

“Wrapping is hard” Gift Bag

Let’s face it — some of us were simply

Demotivational Pens

Imagine a pen that doesn’t just write words—it writes

“Lower your expectations” Red Gift Bag

Sometimes, the best gift you can give someone is

“Happy Little Dictators” Adult Coloring Book

Finally—a coloring book that combines the soothing power of

Cat People Pens

If you’ve ever wanted your handwriting to look like

Cover Me I’m Going In Custom Printed T-Shirt

Some shirts whisper. Others shout. But the “Cover Me,

I Drink Pond Water Hat Potent Frog Official Merch Custom Embroidered

If you’ve ever wanted to simultaneously channel grandpa-at-the-bait-shop vibes

Lock Em Up Custom Printed T-Shirt

Why argue when you can just wear your opinion?

Cig While Drinking Hat Funny Drunk Stepdad Trucker Cap Retro Rope Hat Sarcastic Custom Embroidered Dad Hat Gift

Let’s be honest—this hat doesn’t just scream “fashion,” it

Dogs Pooping In Beautiful Places 2026 Calendar: The Gift Nobody Knew They Needed (But Everybody Wants)

Move over sunsets and kittens in teacups—the Dogs Pooping

Captain Salute WiperTag

If you’ve ever looked at your car and thought,

Your Choice: Raptured or Big Gay Party Bumper Sticker

There’s a certain type of driver who doesn’t need

Don’t Like My Driving? Come Kiss Me Then Bumper Sticker

We’ve all seen aggressive bumper stickers—“Honk if you love

Head Hurts Trucker Hat Funny Meme Cap Retro Custom Embroidered Dad Hat

Ever had one of those days where life smacks

Fuck Off I Mean Good Morning 15oz Mug

For those who aren’t morning people—and frankly, for those

Deer Sausage Custom Printed T-Shirt

You ever see a T-shirt so strange, so oddly

Puppet Bunny Glitter Monster Vinyl Sticker

Ever wanted a sticker that perfectly captures the chaos

He Sees You When You’re Sleeping Christmas Mug

Nothing says “holiday cheer” like sipping cocoa from a

Thriller Zombie Waving WiperTag

Driving just got an upgrade from “mildly boring commute”

I Love Spooky MILFs Hat

If you’ve ever wanted your headwear to scream “Halloween

Freddy Arm Wiper Blade Decal

Picture this: it’s pouring rain, your windshield is foggy,

Spooky Season Hat Custom Embroidery

When it comes to spooky season, you’ve got two

Cookie WiperTag

Introducing the Cookie WiperTag, the revolutionary device that wipes

Thirsty for Bud Beer Halloween Bats Vintage Snapback Hat Cap with Rope Custom Embroidery

They say fashion trends come and go, but nothing

Skull Halloween Candy Bowl, Plant Planter Pot 4″ H Polyresin Skulls (Gold)

First off, this thing is a skull. A shiny

Skeleton Hands Halloween Shirt

There’s nothing quite like wearing a shirt that makes

This Is My Costume Halloween Party Vintage Custom Embroidered Black SnapBack Hat Cap with Double Rope

Forget elaborate costumes, itchy wigs, and trying to paint

Just The Tip I Promise Men’s Funny Halloween T-shirt

If Halloween is about tricks and treats, this shirt

Who the F is Rachel Ahahah Custom Embroidered Fish Tank Hat

Who the F is Rachel? Nobody knows, but apparently

Marine Big Box Wall Decor Murphy with Decanter

The Marine Big Box Wall Decor Murphy with Decanter

Masked Machete Killer Wiper Blade Decal

Ah yes, the Masked Machete Killer Wiper Blade Decal—the

Skull Book Ends

There are bookends… and then there are Skull Book

Best Funny Fuzzy Slippers to Wear for Cozy Fun: Top 6 Picks

Slippers. Humanity’s greatest invention. Forget the wheel. Forget fire.

Skull King Skeleton Wine & Whiskey Globe Decanter Set

Finally, a decanter that looks like it’s been looted

Stemmed Snake Wine Glass | SINGLE | 19oz Spooky Reptile Glasses 10″ H (Silver)

Move over, boring crystal goblets — the snake has

Curio Coffin Shelf Spooky Gothic Decor for Bathroom, Living Room or Bedroom – Black

Shelves are boring. Everyone’s got rectangles on their walls

Skeleton Hands Salad Server Tongs

So, you’ve invited guests over, whipped up your best

Skull Decanter Large Set with 4 Skull Shot Glasses

Behold: the Skull Decanter Set. It’s the perfect centerpiece

Stemmed Skeleton Champagne Glasses – Set of 2 – 7oz

If you’ve ever dreamed of toasting life’s milestones while

Human Skull Bowl

Nothing screams “festive” quite like serving guacamole out of

Halloween Yard Stakes

Halloween is the only day of the year when

I Like My Women Like My Fajitas Custom Embroidered Hat

There are hats that block the sun, hats that

Khen Tortoise Leopard Wine Glasses – Set of 2

If regular wine glasses whisper sophistication, Khen Tortoise Leopard

Jackie Chan Adventures – 12 Talismans

Let’s be honest: Jackie Chan Adventures gave us the

Do Not Play The Smiths Custom Embroidered Hat

Owning a Do Not Play The Smiths hat is

Camera Lens Whiskey Glasses | Novelty Cups for Photographers | Set of 2

Nothing says “I peaked at my cousin’s wedding shoot”

All My Homies Recognize The Absurdity of life Custom Embroidered Hat

Finally, a hat that screams both philosophy major dropout

Medieval GOT Dragon D&D Game Goblet of Thrones Merchandise Beer Steins

If you’ve ever thought, “My mead tastes fine, but

Mommys Little Emo Custom Embroidered Hat

There comes a moment in every parent’s life when

I Come In Peace Boxer Briefs

You’ve heard of diplomacy, but nothing brings harmony to

I Could Tear Up A Chinese Buffet Custom Embroidered Hat

This hat isn’t just an accessory—it’s a full-blown declaration

ShutUpAndTakeMyMoney.com displays the world’s greatest products :)

About

Support