Look, I don’t stop for pedestrians, I don’t stop for squirrels, I don’t even stop for my own GPS when it says “Turn now” — but by the sacred sea horns of Neptune, I brake for Longhorn Cowfish. These majestic aquatic vacuum cleaners with horns deserve our utmost respect. Picture this: you’re cruising down the reef in your sea-scooter, and out waddles a longhorn cowfish, all square and pouty, looking like someone turned a geometric mistake into a fish. Slam those brakes like you’re trying to save a sentient Lego brick!
And let’s be honest — if aliens came down and asked, “Take us to your leader,” I’d hand them a Longhorn Cowfish and say, “This is him.” With their ability to puff up, shoot toxins, and look like a confused milk carton, they’re basically the aquatic Chuck Norris. Next time you’re in the ocean and see one, don’t just brake — salute. Or better yet, let it drive.
