Let me introduce the crown jewel of workplace decor: the “Fuck Around And Find Out” Desk Stand. Not just a motivational sign, it’s a spiritual boundary. It sits quietly, gleaming with chaotic neutrality, warning Karen from Accounting that today is not the day. It doesn’t blink. It doesn’t flinch. It merely radiates the energy of someone who once emailed HR and cc’d Satan.
The desk stand has many uses. It’s a paperweight, a conversation starter, and a legally ambiguous threat all rolled into one. Todd from Sales once asked if it was “a joke.” He now types in silence and brings you Starbucks without explanation. It’s like a force field made of sarcasm and potential HR complaints. The janitor nods at it with respect. Even upper management averts its gaze.
Ever since its arrival, the office has become a place of purposeful productivity. No more microwave thefts. No more passive-aggressive Post-its about “cleaning your mug.” Brenda stopped using your stapler without asking. It’s not that they’re afraid of you… they’re just extremely aware that you’re the final boss of corporate nonsense.
In short, the “Fuck Around And Find Out” Desk Stand isn’t just a piece of decor. It’s a lifestyle. A warning. A promise. And possibly the reason Carol stopped leaving tuna in the break room fridge. Invest in one today, and let your desk say what your Slack status wants to.
