Ah yes, the Masked Machete Killer Wiper Blade Decal—the most polite way to say, “Yes, officer, I am completely sane, thanks for asking.” As your wipers glide across the windshield, the decal turns an ordinary commute into a low-budget horror film. Rainstorm? Nope. Instant slasher flick trailer.
You thought your car was a safe, practical vehicle? Not anymore. With this decal, your sedan transforms into “The Carpool Lane Massacre, Part IV.” Your passengers will either scream in terror or laugh hysterically—there is no in-between. Pro tip: use it during Halloween to save on decorations… or year-round if you want parking spaces to magically open up around you.
The best part? Nothing says “I brake for nobody” like a machete-wielding silhouette waving back and forth across your windshield. It’s like having your own horror sidekick, except it doesn’t demand screen time or royalties. Just remember: when you roll up to the drive-thru, the cashier might hesitate to hand over your fries.
