The legendary Gold Autism Card, a mythical, high-gloss credential rumored to grant instant exemption from awkward small talk, forced eye contact, and meetings that should’ve been canceled halfway through the calendar invite. One dramatic flash of the card and—miraculously—they’re excused from “just going with the flow,” surprise phone calls, and any environment described as having “good energy” but zero seating. No explanations required, no expiration date, and no obligation to pretend that loud, crowded spaces are a personality trait. It’s not a get-out-of-jail-free card; it’s a get-out-of-nonsense card, celebrating the radical notion that different brains run on different operating systems—and that’s not a bug, it’s the whole design.
