Who needs mistletoe when your ornament is already puckering up with a tongue-out emoji face and a twinkle in its eye? Meet “Cunning Linguist,” the yellow-faced, lip-licking ornament that’s clearly been hanging around the wrong kind of stockings. With a Santa hat perched just right and a ‘stache that screams “I’ve been on the naughty list for decades,” this bauble’s not here for silent nights — it’s here for suggestive ones.
This ornament raises more questions than answers. Why is it making that face? Why does it look like it knows your secrets and is 100% judging you for them — but in a flirty way? And why does it resemble the face you make after someone spikes the eggnog with tequila? Whatever the case, it’s the life of the tree, and possibly the reason your relatives stop coming over.
Stick it on the front of the tree and watch your guests slowly spiral into giggles or mild concern. Hang it in the back, and you’ve got a secret joke with your inner circle. Either way, “Cunning Linguist” is the gift that keeps on giving — mostly innuendos and awkward conversations.
