There’s a certain type of driver who doesn’t need GPS, doesn’t need a rearview mirror, and certainly doesn’t need subtlety. That’s the driver rocking the “Raptured or Big Gay Party” bumper sticker. You’ll either ascend into the clouds in a holy beam of light, or end up in a fabulous rainbow conga line on Earth’s last dance floor — there’s no in-between. Imagine pulling up to church in that minivan: Sister Agnes is clutching her pearls so hard she’s bending the laws of metallurgy.
But the best part? No one tailgates you. Because let’s be honest — who wants to risk getting stuck behind someone who either disappears mid-turn signal or suddenly cranks up Cher’s “Believe” with confetti cannons blasting from the exhaust pipe? It’s not just a bumper sticker, it’s a lifestyle warning label.
