So, you’ve slapped a “This Vehicle is Woke” sticker on your bumper—congratulations, you’re now the Rosa Parks of the drive-thru line at Taco Bell. Other cars might flaunt aggressive decals like “Built Ford Tough” or “Baby on Board,” but yours proudly announces: “Yes, I recycle, I know my pronouns, and I drive 10 miles under the speed limit because empathy is hard work.”
Imagine the chaos it causes in traffic. Pickup trucks behind you don’t know whether to honk in anger or pull over and cry about systemic issues. Meanwhile, Prius drivers are nodding with approval, like you just joined their secret avocado-based fraternity. Your car isn’t just a mode of transportation anymore—it’s a moving TED Talk with cupholders.
But the real kicker? The sticker doesn’t just declare your vehicle woke—it makes you woke by association. Suddenly, even your GPS stops saying “In 500 feet, turn right” and instead whispers: “In 500 feet, challenge the patriarchy.” Who knew bumper stickers could be this powerful?
