Finally, a hat that says what your insecure inner monologue has been yelling since age 29: “I do NOT have a bald spot!” This majestic green rope snapback doesn’t just shield your scalp—it fights rumors. Whether you’re deflecting overhead lighting in an office or bending down in front of judgmental toddlers, this hat reassures onlookers that what they think they see is just a cowlick. And yes, it’s embroidered—because if you’re going to lie, do it in thread.
Worn backwards, it adds an extra layer of denial. Worn forward, it becomes a green beacon of confidence and delusion. Ideal for dads at barbecues, dudes in denial, or anyone whose shampoo budget has mysteriously decreased. Buy it, wear it, and let the world know: that’s not a bald spot—it’s aerodynamic efficiency.
